As decor bloggers travel, they are now making dates to meet one another. It's fun to meet the person you feel so connected to via your daily reads, comments, and e-mails. Sometimes schedules don't meld, and the meeting doesn't happen. This happened to me once, and I thought maybe bloggers prefer to just be a screen friend (which I can understand and respect). But no, in my case, she was just busy, and we actually met the second time I got to her neck of the woods, and had a terrific meeting of the minds.
Another great bloginista tried to make a coffee connection when a fellow blogger visited her city, and felt really bad like he blew her off when their schedules conflicted. Yet another blogger present was giving me the "you see" eye, "you see how he is".
Girls and guys, really sometimes schedules just conflict! Don't take it to heart! Learn that a "sorry can't make it" or even a simple "no" is just that. Everybody still loves you even in a world of no and missed connections.
Last weekend I had several DB's (decorati bloggerati) over to my house. It was a blast! Of course I let them into every nook and cranny so they could satisfy their visual curiosity. And then we all got to talking, and yes we do talk about other bloggers not present.
This weekend two very cool, talented, and fabulous bloggers visited New Orleans from the west coast. Another New Orleans DB hosted a wonderful dinner party for us, and the conversation was lively, naughty, heartfelt, and three hours at the table went by like minutes instead of hours.
The lady from the west confessed to being a people pleaser, and thus keeps her blog writing very pleasant. The hostess from New Orleans is a confessed southern belle, and knows the rules of playing nice like nobody's business. We all confessed to writing one another (and other DBs) privately, really letting our hair down, but never having the guts or fool hardiness to express our truer stronger opinions on our own blogs. We know it's all a bit like High School Confidential ha ha.
I guess I'm the most mouthy one on my blog. It's not that I want to be ill mannered, but it's my blog, that I write for my pleasure, and hopefully for the enjoyment of the random reader that stumbles upon it.
I also am older. As one gets nearer the grave, one hopefully learns what matters and what does not. I am nice. I am generous. I love life. I like people. I do have a sassy attitude, and I do express it. I never tried to please others at the cost of undermining or over inflating my self confidence. Not everybody loves me, and that's okay. I don't love everybody either ha ha. But I am loved, and I love many.
Believe it or not, I do self edit, because I detected a bloggerati code of conduct long ago. And to a certain extent I respect the rules of the road: Try to be nice. No politics. Not too sexy. Comment unto others as they comment unto you. Link to other bloggers. Answer e-mail.
In itself the code is not too hard to live with. But sometimes it is just a bit shallow when everyone refines their screen personality to the point of it becoming a facade.
Blogs are the new magazines, so they say, but I think better than the old magazine format in that they are very much more personal. When a blog imitates impersonal editorial style, a blog loses the essence of blogging.
On the other hand, a definitive journal can be excruciating. Walking a line between the two is what good bloggers do.
I recently unmoderated my comments. I don't really have time to collect them in my e-mail inbox, read them, and re-route them. I have stopped being a comment collector, or running for the office of comment queen. I also can take the good and the bad comments in stride.
Zillions of people read blogs, so if one or two or even twenty don't dig y0u and take the time to leave those fantastic anon comments, then big deal.
Some of my dearest blogging friends get really upset and thrown off kilter by a non nice anon comment. I mean these are grown up people, accomplished professionals, talented above and beyond, secure in their lifestyle, and man they can go to pieces over some crappy comment. I feel for their distress, but try to remind them that what we do on blogs is not that important in the scheme of the universe. And certainly a baseless anon comment is even less than a speck of a speck of the universe's dirt and debris. Shake it off, laugh, and be gleeful for the press!
Another blogger taught me his philosophy: He thanks the idiots for the page hit! And now, so do I.
The southern belle grumbles that decor blogging has changed so much, that it's getting more high school. I think as we blog longer, we get to know each other, and we speak our minds, and I think that's a good thing. I mean what do we have to fear? That someone won't like the rooms we show? That someone won't believe our magazine life or pumped up resume we put on OUR blog? That someone GASP doesn't like our research or writing?!!! That someone thinks we're too young; too gay; too straight; too granny; too good looking; too happy; too pathetic; too successful; too loser; too boring; too smart; too fat; too educated; too fake; too real...Well you get the idea.
I frankly do not care. I am happy with myself. And I'm happy if you enjoy what I enjoy, i.e. this meaningless blog.
Recently I had a private e-mail exchange with another blogger, and we disagreed about something. It boiled down to him wanting me to remove someone from my blog list who he found offensive, and when I declined, he demanded I remove his blog from my blog list.
I declined his demand (after all it is my blog ha ha), and he flipped me the bird in one of his postings. I was so flattered! Really! Here's a guy who ignored me like forever, and now he references me!
Thanks for the page hit indeed!
And I love the smarmy, snarky high school quality of it! It makes me laugh and feel oh so young. I felt so honored, and added his accolade to my shelf of Fickle Finger of Fate awards!
Why am I writing about this? I guess the great conversation at the dinner table last night provoked me. I would like bloggers to be more real, more natural. There are the blogs that are so pristine and fine, and I appreciate the scholarly loftiness and hard work that goes into to them. And often I learn something from them too. But I have so much more fun at lunch or recess or between classes, finding out what's really on your beautiful minds.
Now back to The New York Times:
CONSIDER the erotic potential between blogger and commenters. The blogger is boss, a salon host with wit and whip. Certainly a blogger thrives on commenters — who wants to declaim to an empty e-room? But let’s be clear: blogger, sovereign; commenters, courtiers.
What do you think of this statement ha ha. Read the entire article HERE if you have time.
I certainly do not consider myself a queen bee to be courted by readers, or a candidate for erotic potential ha ha.