Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Death Of A Blog

I think of bloggers as angels. They come into your life by chance, and then become a part of it by choice. Bloggers hover like angels just a click away waiting to fill a special space in your life. I depend on my daily reads as if checking in with old friends, tried and true and always there. Sometimes I'm a bad friend and I don't get back to a blog I love for weeks at a time, secure that it will be there when I have time to read it again.

Why does a blog die?

Who wants to kill off a blog?

You know how it's done. Cliques form. People are left out or ignored. Gossip girl (and boy) private e-mails are exchanged about a lesser "loser" blog. Friendly overtures are ignored. Anon comments that are mean are sent. Creepy anon stalkers emerge always watching, always ready to disparage. Personality cults emerge and if you don't gel, you're out. And if you have a popular blog, you poo poo all the high school hi jinks, just wanting to be left alone with your goodness.
The poor blogger who wants to be a part of the community, a part of the fun finally feels so left out and bad, he/she stops blogging.

Maybe the stronger ones keep blogging, and they usually find their own readers who appreciate them. But there is always that nagging sense of not being a part of the group of alleged super star bloggers, the ones who get the press, the adoration, the huge amount of hits of the site meter, the ones who get lots of comments, the ones who get featured on other blogs, or asked on radio shows, the ones who get a photo shoot of their work. Sure they work hard for it, but no less than anyone else really.
I'm not saying it's totally this mean girl/boy interaction going on in the blogging world. There's alot of good and generous souls out there too. But to negate the buzz kill bloggers is one way to be in denial.

What makes someone pull the plug on their own blog? So much work goes into a blog. Just go into an archive of any blogger and see the body of work that includes writing and image gathering. Why would someone not only kill their own blog, but wipe out their archive too? All that work gone in a click! It hurts me to think of it.

So now another blog is mysteriously gone. A really great one. A very original one.

It's Paul Pincus. His blog was one of an aesthete. It covered art, architecture, historical preservation, and photography, and all media, and home decor, and hunky guys, and glam woman, and all things interesting that you wouldn't see churned out on the "j'dore" girl blogs (and worst yet by the guys who write in sugary chatty third person), that massive circuit of chick lit decor writers.

So I saw this on my blog list yesterday, and my heart sank:

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Paul Pincus Blog, R.I.P.

Paul Pincus who is Roddy Gonsalves who is Paul Pincus, where are you? My e-mail to you has gone unanswered.

Your second to last post says you are bound for Tokyo. Is that true? Did you find a great job? A new love? Are you off on a grand adventure? On the lam?

And why oh why won't you share it with us who love you?

Paul Pincus R.I.P. indeed! I'm calling the Psychic Friends Network, getting out the Ouija board, contacting a medium, gathering a posse, getting a search party together! Your blog may be gone, but your spirit hovers my friend.

We're missing an angel in the blogosphere. His name is Paul Pincus.


Linda/"Mom" said...

* Reading this made me feel so sad. It also warmed my heart to see someone caring about someone else........ lovely to be so genuinely concerned. HOPE you find your friend Paul!

Linda in AZ *

Irene said...

I love your post today, it's all true. Hope Paul finds it and comes back to blogland.

my favorite and my best said...

great post. you know how i hate the bullshit. how i detest the pussies. how i loathe the clicks. and i am sad too. i would hate for one of my favorites to just drop off the earth like that.
this post was so well written val. xoj

vicki archer said...

Whether he wants to come back or not he will know that he is truly loved and appreciated....Beautifully articulated as ever Valorie, xv.

ArchitectDesign™ said...

I was shocked to read that myself yesterday and thought 'WHY?'!
Hopefully he'll come back stronger than ever, such as House of Beauty and Culture.

Greet said...

You are so right! And I do love that you care of that! I think we have to help eachother to read her of his blog and make a comment from time to time!


S. Adler Sobol said...

I am an obsessive reader of many blogs. I mostly lurk - I rarely comment. I always feel as if others express thoughts similar to mine so much better. I felt awful when I saw Paul Pincus' RIP post yesterday and wanted to comment but couldn't figure how. I thought perhaps you needed to Twitter -- I am overwhelmed by all this technology. I'm happy to be able to express my thoughts now. Like you, I hope he is off on some marvelous adventure and that he returns to tell us about it.

Julio said...

Hi Valerie!

I have Paul on my blog roll and saw that but I thought he was bidding farewell to being on and switching his blog onto I didn't realize he was actually terminating the entire blog. That is terribly sad. I loved his mind and sense of style. I surely hope he returns like HOBAC has.

Jan said...

That's a very caring attitude Valorie.
He will have given it a lot of thought though I'm sure.
Hope you hear from him.

Diane Dorrans Saeks said...


Well, there is much that is invisible and unknown and abstract on the blog scene.
He was a very original blogger.

You are right that perhaps there was a request for reciprocity--'you are on my FAVORITES blog roll and I'd be honored to be considered for yours'.
It is mysterious if such a request is sent and there is no response. Is the blogger away, dancing? Did they overlook it? Does she not like your blog?
We exist on the blog scene--creative writers and designers and dancers--and your insight is fascinating and as you said, no-one discusses this.
I wish Paul Pincus/pseudonym/ well.

Renae said...

Very well said, Valorie. You have such an eloquence in your writing. Such true words felt my many (myself included) and sadly PP. I hope you find your friend.

Cote de Texas said...

I never understand why bloggers erase their blog when they stop? Why not just write a last column saying goodbye and leave it up for all to enjoy for internet eternity? This is so sad, I just wonder why it gets erased? I still miss the blog that had all the wonderful tips on it. I used to refer to that one all the time.

Wonderful story Valorie - your blog has been fab since you came home! Really enjoying it. As always.

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

I'm so sad to hear that. It boggles the mind to think about deleting a blog you've spent so much time and creative energy on. I don't know how people can do that!

Hill Country House Girl said...

So well written, Valorie. I don't think when we start blogging we realize how much interaction goes on out there. Then, after you start visiting others it does hurt when certain bloggers never "visit back" - definitely we all just want reciprocity, and a feeling that what we write is of value. It's an interesting new culture we have been a part of creating, isn't it?

Mrs. G said...

Great post. I love your blog but don't comment. Those of us that are less articulate than others are a bit intimidated to comment on really well written blogs. But, I'm taking my chances to tell you that I so enjoy your blog.

GrannySmithGreen said...

Wow VV! This was some post! I can't thank you enough for putting into words the feelings of so many about the blog world. Angels. I like that thought.
I think of the blog world as a "safe" place to go. No judging, just warm, friendly and full of love. There's just no room in our world for more negativity and exclusivity.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I LOVE YOUR BLOG!

The Reluctant Houstonian said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was bewildered by this strange turn of events. Please keep us posted on what your other-worldly connections turn up down there in lovely NOLA.

Visual Vamp said...

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I hops Paul finds his way here to see how much we care.
Diane, I've added your blog The Style Saloniste to my blog list.
And to all of you commenting for the first time, or infrequently, thank you, and please continue to let us hear from you. You are important to us.
xo xo

Mary said...

Wonerful post - Ditto and Ditto
Sometimes I'm a bad friend - sometimes I am a faithful follower and never am acknowledged ...... we all blog for different reasons and that is the basis for our actions - I guess. Missing Paul too

Diane Dorrans Saeks said...


Thanks, delighted!
And can we read more of your delightful posts on DANCE and tango, please.
From your earlier blog post, I was connected to RADIO DEL TANGO...and I think of you as it plays Gardel and Piazzolla, and the commentary rolls on in fabulous Argentinian dialects. Brilliant, a great mood-setter for the day. Would appreciate more of these 'insider' tango connections from you.

Renee said...

You are so amazing.

Love Renee xoxo

pve design said...

So glad that you posted this. I miss Paul and was shocked to see him gone. Just like that. A blog takes a tremendous amount of energy and I often wonder how long I can keep posting, Do you?
But then there are so many angels....that keep me feeling full of spirit and hope that it will all lead to something good.
We miss you Paul P.