Thursday, July 31, 2008

Thank You Notes and The Law of Reciprocity

I had my birthday, and I got gifts. So I sat my butt down and got out stationary and a pen and an old fashioned address book, and I wrote out my thank you notes. I always put off doing this, not because I am ungrateful bitch, but because I just find it hard to do even when I 'm doing nothing but watching Dancing With The Stars. Once I start I enjoy it.
My notes are short; my handwriting has gotten awful. Still, as I write each card I can see the person I am writing to, and see the gift they brought to me, and I don't know, it just makes the whole experience so pleasant. I feel so civilized writing notes, like the lady my mother trained me to become.
Doing so many things on line can make one take short cuts in the old etiquette department. Like many friends read my blog, but they don't comment, so I don't know if they've read it or not. So when I see them, and I start telling a story, and it's something I wrote about on the blog, their eyes kind of wander like I am boring them to fucking tears. And then it dawns on me, and I say bitch did you read that on my blog? Why don't you comment so I know you read it? Hey, I got fresh material, just give me a chance.

This happened on the phone the other day. If you know me you know I hardly ever ever talk on the phone. I don't twitter. I don't text. I'm lucky I write a blog and e-mail. So when a very nice new blog friend actually called me, and we started dishing about HGTV, other bitchy blogs, etc. I started to hear that cricket sound effect they use on TV when there's what used to be called a pregnant pause. A fucking pregnant cricket pause.

So how do you deal with that? Do you have to preempt every conversation, with a question, like have you read my blog lately, and will it bore you if I talk about it in person (or on the phone)? It's really hysterical when you think about all the overlapping blog conversations with the live-person conversations. I cannot imagine keeping track of it, along with twitters, and texts, and even yakking it up on the phone. I need an assistant to micro manage my mouth.

I'm on this ridiculous mission to post 100 entries every month. It's stupid I know, because how much can you all take? But hey blogging is also journal scribbling, and as some say, scrap booking. I got time to do it. Anyhoo, I just can't do it. But I decided to try and hit 50 for the month of July. For some reason I thought I had another week left, but nope. So I have been making the mad dash to 50.

I wanted to do a posting about a room I saw that reminded me so much of the one the character Patricia Neal played in Breakfast At Tiffany's decorated. She was the older woman Mrs. Robinson type, a professional Interior Decorator, sleeping with Paul (George Peppard) AND decorating his apartment. It had a kookie neo-classical look with Napoleonic flourishes. It was 1961, so it was pretty fab, and now it looks super cool. So that led me to lots of BAT photos, which got me off the track, because I never get tired of looking at them. Somehow, now stay with me here, the word Tiffany's in the search engine led me to a wedding site called Weddex, which I checked out because my old friend from New York, Sylvia Weinstock's photo was the lead in. Phew.
Weddex floored me, because first it's a great blog, and second it has posts about all my New York friends in the biz, that I knew (and still know) from when I was in the biz. So I got alot of reading to do.

In the meantime all those BAT photos were really distracting me. I never found any film stills with the set design. I never do, but still I'll spend hours looking. What an asshole.
But! I found one that really stopped me in my tracks. It's a couch like the one Holly has in her apartment.
And you can buy the thing! Me wantee! I have found my perfect couch!
But that takes me off on another lark. Last night I was playing on 1stdibs. I was trying to come up with one of those cute blog surveys everybody does: Do You Iron Your Sheets? Do You Like Bacon or Links? Do you like me, me, me and will you please, please, please comment on my blog? It's like being on TV when the bell rings and the MC yells: Survey Says!
Don't get me wrong, I think the question thingee is cute and it is so nice to talk to one another, and I do comment (and answer questions) on other blogs, and I do want you to like me, really like me...and ahem, comment.
So my idea was to have you guys go to 1stdibs and pick six of your favorite things that you would buy if money were no object. You know fantasy shopping. I started down this tunnel because I posted about doing over my couch and my living room, and I am always bitching and using the excuse for my shitty decor that I don't have real money to spend, and look out interior design world if I just get my hands on some big bucks.

Well it ain't just that easy girls and boys. I started out picking this pair of aqua blue demi lune chests. Thought they'd look nice with the brown walls I am planning. Then I tried to find things to go with it, so I thought, why redo the old junky sofa, this is fantasy land, so go buy a sofa bitch. Well I hate couch shopping (and coffee table shopping is just as bad for me). Every couch I like was just a way more costly version of mine. I got stuck for a couple of hours just looking at couches. Now I know how those Design Star people feel. I got all the money in the world to spend and a room to fill, and I'm still stuck in the couch department.
But what great couches (or do you call them - Survey Says! -sofas?) I found. So going from plan A to plan Z once again, I think I'll do Survey Says! and ask you all to tell me what your six favorite couches are! Yeah that's the ticket, you're all crazed design freaks, decor junkies, time wasters!
This idea really sucks.
So now I have a lot of pretty couch pictures, and one photo of Sister Parrish sitting on a couch that I like, because I like to look at stylish old ladies because that's where I'm headed sister.
So if you're still with me, you really do like me, and I absolve you from ever having to comment or doing Survey Says! There's a few more cute couch photos, and then I'm out of here. I can't believe the day is gone, and now I have to get ready to go teach tango, which I am really starting to resent because it's cutting into my blog time. WTF! Did you hear that?!
It sounds like I'm going to need these couches to be in a shrink's office, so I can lie down there to get away from my computer! But before I go I want to offer one more thought on something I found at Weddex about The Law Of Reciprocity. Have you heard of this law? It's kind of funny because there was a bit about this on a sit-com called According To Jim. Sort of a tit for tat gag between husband and wife and their emotional bank accounts.
I think my mother called it holding out until you got your way. But never mind...So at Weddex there's this posting about this law. I read it, and say sure thing, in so many words it's what I used to call The Good Girl Network when I was working in New York. I give you a job, then you give me a job, and then that person gives someone else a get the idea. Alot of people are in business because of The Good Girl Network. It's kind of like this with many bloggers too. So many of you guys help me out, and I have even helped a few start their blogs too (addicting them to a life of time going down a hole).

So here it is from Weddex:

Reciprocity is a basis of trust and a basis for legitimate power. The principle is that others will reciprocate in kind based upon the way you treated them. The world gives you what you give to the world. Reciprocity isn’t always instantaneous, therefore persistence is vital. Even if you’ve found yourself saying, “I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work”, don’t give up. At the appropriate time you will reap a harvest. By understanding and using the power of reciprocity, you can improve your relationships and avoid mistakes that can permanently damage your relationships. In life and work, you get what you give.

So that's my entry for today folks. You got a little bit everything. Miss Priss (my personal etiquette consultant); Breakfast At Tiffany's; Weddex; New York war stories (yawn); Fantasy Shopping; and some eye candy from istdibs. No surveys. I've done enough to you.
Sorry no links today. If you want to buy one of these couches you go to 1stdibs and find it yourself. Or ask me. I actually wrote down the names of the places they come from, and the prices. Weddex is easy - just Google her - I'll add her to the blog roll later.
And Joni, I will get out in the street and take some photos. I need the fresh hot air.


Dianne said...

Wow! I stuck with you but I am exhausted!!!!! :)

Cote de Texas said...

this is hysterical!!! did you take you ritalin today my dear? and why are you tearing up your sofa yourself? are you recovering it too? and it looks SO cute in the white - where did you get that slipcover ??? you are so funny - 100 a month? I'm lucky to get out 10 a month - seriously. Why don't you just do like every one else -- monday though thursday with a bye for the weekend on Friday? that's just 24 plus 4 a month.

Visual Vamp said...

All in a day's work girls LOL.
Why do I write so much? I'm a writer. I need to write, like breathing. Having the blog gives me a place to write, to play with photos, to be creative. Somehow the blog motivates me rather than just typing into the emptiness of the computer.
Remember, I don't have a full time job LOL (but I'm looking for one).
I ripped up the couch because I wanted to see the boney ass bones so I could decide if it is worth investing in re upols VS buying a new couch.
Which slip cover? White one is Klippen from Ikea, which I wrestled to the ground to make it fit; toile one my dear friend Miss Anne and I made together 8 years ago!
By now you should know I'm not like everybody else LOL. But I will try to slack off the keyboard this weekend.
Thanks for reading AND commenting. The rest of you are all heartless slackers, or maybe too tired to type after reading so much blather.
Don't make me do Survey Says! LOL

All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...

Man oh man! 50 posts in a month! - girl I am IMPRESSED - careful tho - you may never want to blog again at the end of it

:-) hugs and love


Petunia Face said...

Please tell me you really send Hannah Montana thank you cards. If so, I might just send you a present to get the hand-written Hannah Montana card!

Visual Vamp said...

Yes I do! And if you're a good girl I'll get you a box for your birthday, so you can send out your notes after you get all that loot on your gift registry!